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Article about how to be single at 50:
Where to Begin? – Daily Plate of Crazy
50 Years Old and Starting Over. Where to Begin?



When addressing the issue of starting over at age 50 or older, we often consider relocation. We do so in light of personal taste, desired lifestyle,
50 Years Old and Starting Over. Where to Begin? When addressing the issue of starting over at age 50 or older, we often consider relocation. We do so in light of personal taste, desired lifestyle, and finances — both affordability and earning options. But in middle age, the factors involved in where and how to make a fresh start are much more numerous, with or without involving a move, especially after divorce or widowhood. In fact, the enormity of starting over in our 50s can seem overwhelming. Typically, we’re dealing with more “baggage” than when we’re younger. We’re facing the growing cultural bias of aging. We’re navigating matters of health, career, education, extended family, and perhaps the desire for a partner a second (or third) time around… It’s no wonder that any of us in this position might say “Where do I begin?” 50+ Is a Mixed Bag. The nature and extent of starting over at midlife varies, of course. It may include taking on the challenges of adjusting to a marital status change with both obstacles and opportunities, making new friends over 50, following divorce, job loss or downsizing, beginning a new career, of necessity or design, or plunging into an altogether new set of adventures by relocating – whatever your reasons for doing so. (For my most recent adventure in starting over in a new place, pop by this 2018 relocation tale and this explicit additional advice.) As for the initial relocation challenge — where to go, based on individual needs — here is a related excerpted comment on starting over, from a reader by the name of Michelle: … I’m 50 yrs old and [a] single parent of a 17 yr old… I am currently staying with my widowed mother. I don’t like my living situation and I plan to move in 2 yrs after my son finishes his 2 yrs at comm college… I don’t have a good job now, it’s a clerical job at a hospital. If I could I would move out now, but I don’t have the money. I am looking for training in a new career field, but I don’t know where to start. All I know is I can barely survive on what I make now. (My hours were cut twice!!), I have to get some kind of specialized training… feel alone… any advice is appreciated. How many of us have been here in some way – or all ways? Who would like to jump in with their experience, ideas, or suggestions? Who can contribute to input on relocating over 50, and how to prepare in terms of jobs and logistics? 50 Years Old: What Does it Really Mean? In our youth-obsessed country, age 50 seems to be a sort of trigger. When you hit the fifties as an age bracket, you may feel as if you’re dropping off the earth. If you’re in a good relationship or marriage and you don’t need the online dating world, then you haven’t experienced the dating-and-mating conundrum that is fifty-something prejudice. If you’re successfully self-employed, if you’re secure in a position, if you’re financially independent or supported by a spouse, you haven’t yet (and possibly won’t) feel the traditional career options closing in. That’s a lot of if’s, don’t you think? As for health, there are no magical guarantees against accident or illness at any age. Many enter their 50s feeling strong and well. But the likelihood that time will take a gradual toll on the body is higher as we get older. That deserves consideration – whether we’re “starting over” or not. Education and training? Let’s not confuse the two. Both are options at any age, their purpose, focus and costs will certainly vary, financing may be the tricky part but the benefits (and pleasure), great. Age 50: Spin All You Want, but the Stigma Is Real. For all the hyper-cheerful spin we see around the web on “50 is the new 40” (and sometimes “60 is the new 40”), not to mention how “fabulous” the 50s are, the reality is that aging stigma still persists. We all practice it to some degree (whether we wish to or not), though in different ways and with regard to different ages. For many, 50 is the point at which we perceive (or imagine) someone to be “old” – certainly on paper. But how old is too old for starting over? How old is too old for remaking a career? How old is too old for flying one’s own nest? How old is too old for becoming financially secure? How do you start over at 50? At 55? At 60? Shouldn’t you combine a “can do” attitude with realistic expectations? This article from The New York Times takes the realism approach. In “Over 50 and Under No Illusions,” we are reminded that many hitting middle-age find themselves here: … Too young to retire, too old to start over. Or at least that’s the line… Almost overnight, skills honed over a lifetime seem tired, passé. Twenty- and thirty-somethings will gladly do the work you used to do, and probably for less money… Many people are so disheartened that they’ve simply stopped looking for work. For millions of Americans over 50, this isn’t a bad dream — it’s grim reality. The recession and its aftermath have hit older workers especially hard. People 55 to 64 — an age range when many start to dream of kicking back — are having a particularly hard time finding new jobs. New Career at 50, 55, 58… Impossible Dream? So. Does the article above send us spiraling down into resigned acceptance and depression? Should the reader who commented throw her arms up in the air and accept “barely surviving” while living with her widowed mother? What kind of work can you get at 50 or 55 or older? Is the sky the limit if you’re healthy, a go-getter, and lucky? Or are there practical constraints no matter what? The Times article goes on to offer examples of individuals who retooled, took chances, relocated, and ultimately found new and financially viable careers. But the examples don’t pertain to most of us, though the importance of networking, determination, taking risk and “a bit of luck” are essential. Still, what if you don’t have a network? How do you create it? What if you know you need new skills? How do you decide what they are? And if you’re willing to relocate, how do you choose a new city or region? As Michelle asks: Where to begin? Naturally, if you can afford it, a career coach, life coach or other advisers can guide you toward some answers. If you go this route, be sure to verify credentials and experience, and check references. All “coaches” are most certainly not created equal! Do keep in mind that friends and acquaintances can be more helpful than you realize. Be open to their suggestions, their observations of your skills, and don’t be shy about enlisting them to assist in building a network. Most of us get jobs (or work) through personal connections, in my experience, the older we get the more important it is to realize this. A Note on Further Education. Perhaps you feel that going to college (at last!), finishing college (at last!) or pursuing graduate education — even at 50 or older — will open more doors.