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Article about christian dating a jewish man:
Jews for Jesus
You love your partner enough to consider a conversion but need a more informed perspective? Start by asking yourself these two essential questions. Should I Convert for My Jewish Partner?



Understanding where you’re at now is a vital first step when considering a new direction. by Tuvya Zaretsky | January 11 2023. Should I Convert for My Jewish Partner? Understanding where you’re at now is a vital first step when considering a new direction. by Tuvya Zaretsky | January 11 2023. “I am dating someone who is Jewish, and we are talking about getting married. I had a Christian upbringing. My partner is asking me to convert to Judaism and wants to raise our future children to be Jewish. I am open to this but wanting to learn more.” — Caite in Texas* We get emails like Caite’s all the time. People often tell us, “When we talk about the future, it gets awkward—especially when we discuss religion, our families’ expectations, and raising children.” Sound familiar? Maybe you’ve been surprised or even confused to discover that certain words that mean one thing to you mean something totally different to your Jewish partner. You might find yourself wondering, Would converting to Judaism help us resolve these issues? The fact that you are thinking about this says so much about you and the depth of your heart. You obviously love your partner. You want your relationship to grow and to last. You are willing to explore whatever it might take to make it work, and that’s not easy. We assume you are reading this article because you are looking for resources and points of view about converting to Judaism, and we can offer both. We suggest you begin by asking yourself two essential questions : 1.What is my current religious or spiritual identity? 2.How would I expect converting to Judaism to help me? We believe that understanding where you’re at now is a vital first step when considering a new direction. Clarifying your expectations about how such a change might or might not help you is also crucial. We hope that some of our questions and observations will add a helpful perspective. So let’s get started! What Is Your Current Religious or Spiritual Identity? We all have a deeply felt sense of identity that reminds us of who we are, what gives our lives meaning and value—what makes us feel at home in our own skin. Since this identity goes beyond our physical makeup, it is consciously or unconsciously rooted in some kind of spiritual belief. What does that look like for you? What are your core beliefs, your non-negotiables? Your hopes, joys, experiences, and beliefs may change as you open up to new people, new experiences, and new information. But before considering any major change to your identity, it makes sense to carefully consider who you are now . If you are reading this because, like Caite, you were raised in a Christian home, what did that involve? Seeds of faith planted in childhood sometimes spring to life years later. For some, being raised in a Christian home simply means family get-togethers for Christmas and Easter, and maybe an occasional visit to church for special events. But for many, it involves (or once involved) deeply held beliefs about Jesus. Take time to reflect on what your Christian upbringing means to you. If it’s not important to you now, might it possibly become more important in the future? Seeds of faith planted in childhood sometimes spring to life unexpectedly years later. Whether you never accepted Christian beliefs for yourself, or once believed but are now doubting, this could be a good time to explore those beliefs before setting them aside as secondary or irrelevant to the relationship with the man or woman you love. Let your openness to discovery include what’s in your own heart. Ask yourself, Does my core identity include a relationship with Jesus? Would you feel “at home” with the idea that you would no longer openly identify with Jesus, celebrate him, speak to him in prayer in front of your spouse, or share your faith in him with your loved ones, including your children? Because while your Jewish partner may not ask this of you, converting to Judaism probably would. You can find more on that specific question in this article from our Jewish Gentile Couples website: What Would Converting to Judaism Require of Me? Allow yourself time to reflect on your answers to these questions. If you’ve been having heated conversations with your partner when discussing each other’s beliefs, don’t rush past that friction. Pause to ask yourself, Why are we upset? What are we defending? What is causing us to feel misunderstood? You can’t answer for your partner, but you can always ask God , “Show me what is beneath these feelings I’m having.” Finally, if your partner hasn’t asked you to convert, don’t assume that he or she would want you to do so . The awkwardness between you might be coming from a different place: perhaps a concern that you will expect your partner to change, or that they would not be able to pass on their Jewishness to their children. I’ve met many Jewish people who understand that the qualities they love in their Christian partner are very much an expression of their identity as believers in Jesus. They would never want to take that away. Once you have taken the time to understand where you are at now, it’s time to explore your reasons for considering converting to Judaism. Why Do You Want to Convert to Judaism? Your motives are closely connected with your expectations, and healthy relationships depend on being realistic about both. That’s why, when people begin a process of conversion to Judaism, one of the first questions a rabbi will wisely ask is, “Why do you want to convert?” We suggest you begin answering that question for yourself right now. Of course, you are hoping to find common ground in your relationship, but it will help if you drill down to the specific ways you see that happening if you were to convert. We’ve listed the most common motives that people in your situation have shared with us when they think about converting to Judaism. 1. I want to better understand what it means to be Jewish. The desire to understand the culture of someone you love is beautiful. Just be careful not to load potentially unrealistic expectations onto it. Some people hope their interest in Judaism will lead their Jewish partner to be similarly interested in exploring faith in Jesus—and that’s not always realistic. Does your Jewish partner reciprocate your interest in Judaism by asking questions about Christian practices and beliefs? Or do they love you but prefer to leave “the J-word” out of your conversations? It’s awesome if you both develop an equal interest in spirituality. Mutual respect and appreciation are good signs, an opposite situation signals caution. That’s not to discourage you from learning about what it means to be Jewish.